So You Want to Start Watching Porn with Your Partner

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Porn. Some women love it. Some dislike it. Some women don't have any experience with it. Many of us have only watched it alone.

Like anything else in the magical sexual realm of lesbians, how you live your love life is entirely up to you and your partner. Watching porn with your partner can create a new avenue for foreplay or a place to discover new sex acts or sexual fantasies.

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You're In Great Company

A woman watching porn with her partner

For those of you who equate watching porn with having a dull sex life, you should bite your tongue.

Women love porn. 

As in a lot of women. Gay women, straight women, pansexual women. For as many types of lesbians that exist, there's porn made with them in mind. Which means there's porn out there for you and your lover to enjoy.

Studies show that women are enjoying porn quite frequently. Globally, women are getting their porn on, and lesbian porn is everywhere!

Talk It Over

Girlfriends talking about watching porn together

If you don't know how to take the plunge when it comes to watching porn with your partner, we get it. It's a lot to think about, and inviting your lover to watch with you can feel exposing, scary, or downright terrifying. Take a deep breath. They love you and are already committed to your sex life and relationship.

An excellent place to start is by spicing things up in other ways: a pretty blindfold, a new sexual position, or a sex toy. Just as you eased into your sexual relationship in the first place, you should apply the same excitement, patience and care here.

Watching Porn With Your Partner: Breaking The Ice 

Women watching porn together

Now, if you and your partner have already discussed watching porn together, you can skip the next step. 

For the rest of us, talking to our loved one about watching porn can feel daunting. Don't be shy! Create an atmosphere of openness and never pressure your partner to participate in something they're not into. Porn or otherwise. 

Instead of discussing this in the bedroom, consider talking about it over dinner or while on a walk. A simple question will suffice: "I am interested in watching porn together. Would you like to try that sometime?"

*Meow!* There you go. Cat's outta the bag. 

Now, be ready to accept the answer, even if it's not what you were hoping for. And keep in mind that the answer could change once they’ve had time to mull it over.

Discovering Commonality

women watching porn on a laptop together in bed

There's a plethora of porn out there. What shoots you to the moon might not do the same for your lover. Now that you've agreed to watch porn together, it's time to find commonality.

A great place to start is talking about turn-offs. Maybe you're into watching an orgy, but they want to watch a one-on-one romance. Get familiar with what your partner watches, and go from there. Talk about your yes, nos, and maybes:

  • Girl-on-Girl
  • Role-Playing
  • Sex Toys
  • Group Sex
  • Fingering
  • Breast Worship or Nipple Sucking
  • Anal Play
  • Bondage

In addition to the type of porn, there's also tone to consider. If you or your partner have survived an abusive relationship, watching hard-core porn or any acts that might trigger you will create discomfort, unpleasantness, and sexual shutdown. So keep searching for something that isn't aggressive.

Connect And Play

If you're more accustomed to watching porn alone, watching with someone else is a brand new game. Solo watching focuses on your pleasure, so let your partner know, with words and actions, how sexy they are to you and that the focus is on them, not the porn. Saying things like "that's so hot" as opposed to "she's so hot" can make all the difference.

Sex educators suggest holding hands, stroking each other's hair, or making out. Talking about what turns you on is great foreplay and keeps you connected while watching porn together. Something as simple as "I want you to do that to me right now" is s-e-x-y. Don't be shy about speaking up.

The Comparison Game

A lesbian couple smiling and laying on a bed together

One of the easiest traps to fall into when starting to watch porn together is comparing yourself to who you see on screen. Girl! These are actors. They're performing. 

Just as you wouldn't compare yourself to someone in a movie, the same applies here. Check your insecurities at the door.

Your lover loves YOU, not the person on the screen. You and your partner are doing this to enhance your sex life and not create insecurity or doubt. Enjoy the performance together like you would a play, burlesque show, or film.

Tell your partner that they turn you on, and be specific. "I love the way you feel," "I love how wet you get," "I can't wait to taste you." This way, it's clear the focus is on you as a couple. 

Porn Isn't A Cure

Girlfriends smiling and kissing on a couch

Suppose you have serious issues in your relationship. Watching porn, alone or together, won't fix that. 

Some use porn for the wrong reasons, and that's not cool. "If you loved me, you'd do this" isn't hot; it's manipulative. "If you'd watch porn with me, we'd be happier." 

Stop it! Whatever problems you're facing in your relationship won't be fixed with a hard-handed approach or porn. Watching porn together should be a bonus to your relationship, not a solution.

You've Got This

Lesbians watching TV together

We hope your foray into watching porn with your partner is healthy and exciting. Here are a few last pointers to keep in mind:

  • Watch porn when your relationship is in a good place.
  • Don't watch porn every time you have sex.
  • Keep solo porn watching guilt-free (unless it's causing a trust issue).
  • Avoid hurtful or manipulative phrases to get what you want.
  • Be open and honest about your desires.
  • Have fun! Explore each other! Stay close!


Wet For Her is here to help you with your sexual explorations. We invite you to visit us often to read more blogs, peruse our quality products, or join our Orgasmic Loyalty Program. Ciao for now!