More Ways To Play During Strap-On Sex

This Isn’t Your First Rodeo

For folks who love strap-on sex, a harness can become something of a second skin. Harnesses and Double-Dildos offer hands-free intimacy and pleasure to both parties. However, more than just sex toys, strap-ons can open whole new arenas for sexual play on an individual and partnered level.

If you’re new to strap-on sex, check out our Strap-Ons: Where To Start? post for tips on buying and using your first harness. This is also a great guide to get a sense of the variety available if you want to switch up your harness style

Get In Position

Strap friendly positions are key when learning to maneuver. You are essentially adapting to sex with a new extension of yourself so there’s bound to be some awkward moments along the way. It’s a good thing laughter is sexy! Just roll with it and keep your attention on pleasure for you and your partner. Missionary position or having the Receiver on all fours with the Wearer placed behind are both good introductory positions. Once you’ve found your thrusting flow, the only limitation is your imagination.

Certain dildos will work better than others in different positions. One of the bonuses of strap-on sex is that you can easily switch between dildos between sessions or even during play. Finding the perfect size and curve is a glorious treasure hunt, and remember that both you and your partner’s bodies will change over time. The Deluxe Dilator Set offers a range of five lengths and girths, perfect for exploration. While it works without one, consider adding a harness when using double-dildos like the Union. This extra control can do wonders during more rambunctious encounters.

It’s been famously said that “dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.” But George Bernard Shaw is hardly the only person to compare sex to dancing, and with good reason. Both deeply involve the movement of your hips. The right deep thrust might push your partner over the edge into a cascade of orgasm, but remember that your hips can do magical things with smaller or circular movements. If your partner gets on top, take mental notes of the way she moves when in control. Never be afraid to add vibration to the mix; a vibrating ring like the WowHer or a bullet vibe tucked into the harness will take your strapon game to the next level.

Strap-On Sex Is A Full Body Experience

Our society places heavy emphasis on penetrative sex and queer women aren’t immune to this bias. Exploring other ways to play with your strapon can substantially expand the boundaries of your sex life. If you and your partner have typical roles during sex, and one wears the strap-on more frequently, try switching. Power shifts can be hot, even if they’re temporary.

Incorporating your strap-on into foreplay can look like almost anything, and doesn’t even have to be explicitly sexual. For example, try wearing your harness while giving your partner a massage. The weight of your favorite dildo resting against their back will keep you both tuned into a state of arousal.

The term “faux jobs” was coined to refer to oral sex performed on dildos, as a way to provide distinction from oral sex performed on cis men. But there is nothing fake about your partner bringing you pleasure with their mouth, and the term blowjob is broadly used in this context. The body’s biggest sexual organ is the mind. Watching your partner wrap her lips around you can be enough to power your sexual fantasies no matter what you call it. Dildos with suction cup bases like the Purple Rain are especially fun as pressure on the base can offer stimulation for the Wearer.

One of our favorite toys for versatility is the Shilo. The flexible core makes this pack-n-play dildo perfect for wearing underneath clothing. Waiting for the perfect sexy moment to present itself can be its own form of erotic tension. The Shilo is part of our trans-friendly collection but is a great dildo option for anyone who thinks gender play is hot. Whether you want to get head in your kitchen, or roleplay an anonymous encounter somewhere more illicit, the Shilo is ready at a moment’s notice.

The best part of wearable sex toys is that they go with you everywhere. Keep your toys clean, your lines of communication open, and have fun!