Strap-on play has come a long way since the 1980s, when the only available harnesses were big, bulky, uncomfortable, and complicated. Between the expensive leather harnesses with buckles, awkward looking plastic harnesses, and affordable (but flimsy) washable harnesses, the choices women today have are varied – but very few of those styles have been designed by actual harness users. As a result, despite the variety available in harnesses, many women steer away from using a harness with their partners, because they find the overwhelming number of options confusing.
Thankfully, times have changed, and Wet For Her® is pleased to help you learn about the new generation of harnesses!
There are two basic types of strap-on harnesses on the market today: the traditional style, which uses waist bands and straps to hold the toy in place, and the newer “panty” or “lingerie” style harness, which fits the body just like regular underwear. SpareParts Joque harness is a body-friendly, traditional-style harness, and is one of the most popular harnesses available – it has a wide waist band, a fabric pouch on the front that holds your dildo (or other flared-based sex toy) firmly, and thigh straps (similar to a men’s jock strap), providing stability and a comfortable fit. Panty style harnesses, on the other hand, fit like a pair of underwear, and come in both feminine, lingerie styles, such as the Sasha harness from SpareParts , as well as more butch or androgynous styles, like its Tomboi harness.
So, how do you decide which style is right for you? Let’s look at the benefits – and challenges – of each style, so you can pick your perfect style!
Each harness is adjustable (some adjust a few sizes, some adjust to a wider range of sizes), so they’re ideal for people whose experience weight changes, as well as for those that want to share the harness with their partner who might wear a different size.
They allow access to more of the body, so women who love to be touched by their partner during sex can experience it more easily without removing the harness.
They offer more options for adjusting where the toy sits on the body, so can be ideal for people who want to have it sit higher on the body for better maneuverability.
They can be a bit bulkier than a panty style harness, because their adjustability requires the use of Velcro or buckles on the straps to ensure a snug fit.
They can take longer to put on – they must be adjusted and tightened after putting it on, which can add time and take attention away from being “in the moment”.
They are easy to put on and remove – once the dildo has been put through the opening, it’s as simple to put them on as it is to slide into your favorite jeans! It’s fumble-proof, and for many women, that makes it feel sexier.
The harness can be worn throughout the evening as underwear, so that sex can be more spontaneous. And if you like to “pack” a toy (wear it underneath your clothing), the boxer and brief styles are ideal for both wearing and playing in.
If you like to feel more feminine or more butch, your harness can reflect what makes you feel sexy! And if your partner is turned on by high-end lingerie, or they love seeing you in your favorite boy briefs, your harness selection can also be a way for you to tantalize your partner.
Fit is very important – a panty-style harness that is too tight will be uncomfortable, and one that is too loose will not offer enough stability to make strap on play easier.
Underwear harnesses don’t allow access to the wearer’s bottom or genitals, so they’re not good for women who want to feel their partner’s direct touch while wearing a harness.
If you want to have the base of the toy centered higher than your pubic mound, most underwear style harnesses will allow less flexibility in location, as the ring is centered on the lower part of the panty.
Regardless of what type of harness you choose, double-check your own measurements to ensure the harness fits you to a “T”. If you made an error in sizing, Wet For Her online shop will exchange it for free. It has to be unworn and in is original packaging.
You might also want to check our sex toys to use in the harness as well and our Pack Strap-on harness including a sex toy and a harness.
If you buy a sex toy from another shop just make sure the base of the toy has a flare, to hold it in place in the harness. You can even make it easier, and purchase a harness & toy together – we sell a wide range on the Wet For Her® website.
Whatever style you choose, you’ll end up with a harness to help you create sexy, intimate moments for you and your lover!