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Queerantine : 7 ways to maintain intimacy when you’re in lockdown

Queerantine : 7 ways to maintain intimacy when you’re in lockdown

None of us expected 2020 to turn out like this! If you’d have asked us in January if we’d like to be holed up with no-one but our sweetheart to spend time with we might have said “hell yes, sounds idyllic” but after a week or so of living in lockdown you may be more aware of your lover’s vices than their virtues. And we’re talking leaving panties on the floor in a slob not a sexy way!

Lockdown will put strain on the wellbeing of yourself, your loved ones and your relationships - whether you live together or not - it’s important that you take care of yourself and each other at stressful times so we’ve gathered together some advice on how to maintain intimacy with your lover during troubled times.

Observe good hygiene advice when you come home
We are stating the obvious here, but when you or your partner comes home from being out, observe the proper hygiene procedures to minimise the risk of covid-19 coming into your home. Remove your outdoor clothes, put away any groceries or shopping, wash the packaging or remove it and throw it away, and finally wash your hands.

Once that’s done now you can greet your sweetheart.

Share your worries
Intimacy isn’t just about amazing sex and thrilling orgasms, it is built in the small acts of kindness and vulnerability that we share with each other. If you or your partner is worried about the situation, make time to sit together and share your concerns. 

Make time for each other
Multi-tasking is the enemy of intimacy, your partner needs all your attention to create the trust to be vulnerable, not a fraction of it as you try to finish that piece of work while putting the laundry on and writing a meal plan! Create time in your day that is just to sit and be with each other, whether that’s a contemplative breakfast together or your daily walk to share thoughts.

Don’t give up on date-night
It may be tempting to want to fill your time at home with all the things you’ve not got round to doing - learning  the guitar, finishing the DIY list, writing your PHD - don’t get carried away and schedule intimacy out of your week.Creating time in your schedule to spend with your partner is just as valuable now as it was when you had a busy life outside of the home.
Date nights can still be special, maybe your favourite restaurant is doing delivery now, or you can find recipes that match your favourite dish.
Whatever your usual date night is, think of inventive ways to keep it alive when you’re in lockdown.

Try a little tenderness
Stress doesn’t always make us feel sexy, if you or your partner isn’t in the mood to romp round the bedroom at the moment, explore other ways to nurture each other through physical touch.
Cuddles, holding hands, head, hand or feet massages, hair washing or bathing each other can all be powerful expressions of love and healing. 

Give a compliment and say thank you
It’s always good to get a compliment, from ‘you look nice today’ to ‘that was a delicious dinner’, compliments tell us that our partners have noticed the effort we put into the day. Practicing gratitude through the power of ‘thank you’ is another simple way to show your appreciation of your partner; from ‘hank-you for putting the bins out to thank-you for the amazing orgasms’ a well placed thank-you can create an instant smile.

Get back to basics in bed
Just as it’s useful to remember what attracted us to our partners outside of the bedroom, going back to the beginning and re-discovering them in bed is a wonderful way to rekindle or fuel your sex life.

It’s easy to use familiar moves that we know work to get our partner and ourselves shuddering with pleasure, and we’re a big fan of them, but sometimes we can forget that our sweetheart loves having the back of their knee caressed or the inside of her arm kissed, slowing down and re-discovering the sensuality of each other not only builds intimacy, you can discover new ways to please each other.

We hope some of these ideas will help at this troubling time, but if you need to sit in your pjs, binging Oreos and boxsets, that’s fine too.

Stay safe and look after each other.

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