Beginner's Guide to sex toys, strap-ons & harnesses

Congrats on dipping your toe in the world of lesbian and queer sex toys! We are here to help you find the perfect sex toy for your lesbian sexy time. We designed this beginners guide to help navigate you through the world of lesbian sex toys! We have a variety of strapon dildos, vibrators, harnesses, and gender affirmation sex toys for you to add to your pleasure experience.
Which harness is compatible with which strapon dildo?
All strapon dildos and double dildos on the Wet For Her website are compatible with all of our harnesses. Spareparts harnesses accommodate up to a 2.25" diameter.
Are double dildos compatible with any harness?
Yes, all double dildos are compatible with all harnesses sold on the Wet For Her website.
If I pick up the wrong dildo size, what can I do?
Bit off more than you can chew? Don't worry! We offer a 50% discount a better size of the same dildo or something similar.
When will my order be dispatched?
Your order will be ready to ship within 24 hours after your purchase (Monday to Friday). Once you receive your tracking number, UPS or FedEx will take care of your order and you will be able to track it.
What are your O’ring sizes?
The O'ring holds the dildo. Any dildo from 1.1 inch to 2.25 inches in diameter will fit into our harnesses. A small dildo might be a little loose but you can add a dildo stabilizer. Medium and large dildo sizes will fit without any help.
Instructional videos
Check out our instructional videos on putting on a harness, adjusting your dildo to your O’ring, and choosing the correct harness size for you or your partner!
Using Toys with Your Joque Harness
Finding the Correct Size Tomboi Harness
Care Instructions for Your Sasha or Bella Harness
Watch all videos
Harness comparison chart
Rain Bow WET FOR HER Rain Bow
  • Flexible o'ring - up to 1.75" dildo (Large Dildo - 4 fingers)
  • Size from XS-3X
  • 98% Cotton
  • Double dildo compatible
  • Pack and play
  • 2 pockets for bullet vibrators
  • Made by us for us
Rain Bow SPAREPARTS Rain Bow
  • Elastic o'ring - up to 2.25" (Xlarge Dildo - 5 fingers)
  • Size from XXS-5X
  • 77% Nylon - 23% Spandex
  • Double dildo compatible
  • Pack and play
  • 2 pockets for bullet vibrators
  • Lesbian owned company
Finger size suide
As queer people we chose a reference point we can all relate to: fingers. Our dildo sizes are based on the number of fingers you would normally use with your partner. We know not everybody's finger is identical but the difference is minimal. Our fingers are based on a glove size 7. You can print this glove size and see how your fingers compare.
Take the quiz
2 Fingers
2 Fingers
2 Fingers = Small size dildo
3 Fingers
3 Fingers
3 Fingers = Medium size dildo
4 Fingers
4 Fingers
4 Fingers = Large size dildo
Share the pleasure
With our queer-friendly toys, you no longer have to take turns pleasuring each other! Now you can cum simultaneously. What a revolution! We have designed some great toys such as the RockHer Scissoring Vibrator, the UNION Double Dildo, the Bullet Vibrator you can insert into your harness, and the BumpHer! All designed by lesbians for the queer community.
Add-ons you want to have
Everyone gets turned on differently and sometime we need a little extra TLC. Check out our awesome accessories to amp up your sexy time!
Bullet Vibe
Bullet Vibe
Make your harness or dildo vibrate.
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Add some cushioning to the base of your strap-on dildo.
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Need clitoris stimulation to get an orgasm? Add a WowHer to a strap-on dildo.
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Sex terminology
Arousal serum
These gels and serums are designed to arouse the erogenous area that they are applied to. These often create a tingling, warming or cooling sensation.
Body adaptable
Body adaptable toys are versatile toys that can be used in multiple ways as well as on a variety of bodies and erogenous zones.
Breastforms/Breast plates
Breastforms and breast plates are breast shaped objects meant to be attached to the wearer's chest to give the appearance of breasts. Aside from the transfemme community, they are very popular with drag queens and with mastectomy and breast cancer survivors.
Bulb (Double dildo or strapless strap-on)
The bulb is the part of the double dildo that is meant to be inserted vaginally, holding the double dildo in place, while the wearer penetrates their partner. (The term “bulb” is also used referring to other toys that have an insertable piece, like our scissoring vibrator.)
These are small and compact external vibrators. Bullets can be used on their own, or inserted into some strap-on harnesses for extra stimulation for the harness wearer. Sometimes bullets are used as a removable vibrator inside of other sex toys.
Double dildo
These are designed to be insertable on both sides. This could be a dildo that is the same on both sides, a double ended strap-on, or a dildo with two unique ends. Strapless strap-ons are a version of a double dildo. Double ended dildos can be used on your own or with a partner.
Dual stimulation
These double-duty toys have both internal and external vibrators or stimulators. (e.g. a “rabbit” style vibrator, that goes inside of the vagina but also stimulates the clitoris.)
A highly sensitive area a few inches inside of the vagina on the upper wall. Stimulating this can make for more intense sensations and orgasms. G-spot toys have a curve to them in order to stimulate this area.
Gaff/Compression underwear
Gaff (or tucking) compression underwear is used to reduce the visibility of one's bulge. Popularized by drag queens and femmes in the trans community.
Gender Affirming Gear
Toys and body affirming items that can dissolve gender dysphoria and increase gender euphoria for trans and gender non-conforming individuals. It is a form of Gender Affirmative Care, which is a social model meant to help improve representation and the safety for the trans/GNC community.
Harness compatible
Harness compatible dildos are strap-on dildos made with a base that is wider than the rest of the dildo. The wide base allows for the dildo to be held in place with the O-ring in the strap-on harness. Some strapless strap-ons are compatible with harnesses, but not all harnesses are compatible with them. Make sure to double check the product description to see if they work together.
The O-ring is the ring inside of a harness which one can place a dildo inside of. O-rings can hold most dildos and can be used with stabilizers if the dildo does not fit.
The G-spot of penis-owners. A small muscular gland near the bladder that can be reached via the anus. When stimulated, the P-spot creates an intense sensation during orgasm. Some people can orgasm from P-spot penetration alone. P-spot toys have a curve to them in order to stimulate this gland.
These are penis-representative and are worn in the pants to give the appearance of a bulge. They are soft and squishy (varies) and often have a skin-like texture. They most often do not have a firm enough core for effective penetration, but pack-and-plays do both!
This unique and multi-tasking toy works as a functional dildo, but doubles as a packer. Most often they have a firm core with a soft exterior. Some pack-and-play dildos even have a poseable core! These are most often styled as representational dildos.
Penetrating someone anally with a strap-on.
Phthalates are a group of chemicals used to make plastics more durable. They are used in some sex toy materials. They are toxic and should never be on or inside of a body. All of our products are phthalate-free.
Also known as “cock rings” these are toys that are meant to be placed around a penis. They can enhance erections by controlling blood flow and make for more intense orgasms. Some rings vibrate and stimulate other areas, making them a great accessory for your dildo also.
Ring vibrator
These toys were originally designed for penis-owners, allowing a vibrator to be worn around the penis. These serve the same purpose on a strap-on dildo. Some of these are designed to stimulate the perineum or clitoris during penetration. These body adaptable toys can also be used as a finger/hand vibrator by inserting your fingers through the ring. You can then use the fingers for penetration and stimulate the external area at the same time with one hand.
The act of two people intertwining their legs in order to grind their erogenous areas together. Most often referring to two vulva-owners.
(Abbreviation for Stand-To-Pee) These are penis-representative items that are designed for those who cannot urinate from a standing position. The hollow core allows the user to urinate standing up with the appearance of a penis, allowing people to navigate bathrooms more easily and have an affirming experience, whether in public or in private. They are contoured to the body to prevent leakage as much as possible.
Strapless strap-on
When these double ended dildos are used with a partner, the couple can share instertable sensations simultaneously. These can be used with or without a harness, but not all harnesses work for them. Check the harness’s product description to see if the harness is strapless strap-on compatible. Strapless strap on style double dildos can also be used as a toy with a handle!