Let's Talk About Aftercare
Aftercare: important, but not talked about enough. Aftercare represents what you do to mediate your body and emotions after sex. We know sex can bring up a wide range of emotions, including post-coital dysphoria, gender dysphoria, and even body dysmorphia. For many trauma survivors and survivors of SA, aftercare is essential and can even help with the healing process when experimenting with sex. Here are 3 tips for including aftercare in your sex routine!
Tip 1: Communication
Aftercare involves a lot of communication, believe it or not. It’s important to check in with your partner(s) afterward by talking through what went right, and wrong, what did or didn’t feel good, or what you would like more or less of. It’s literally like having a normal conversation. Getting specific and even using words of affirmation and encouraging your partner(s) of their efforts can be incredibly intimate and create a safer space to receive and give as the sexual relationship progresses. I particularly enjoy cuddling and talking about the sexual experience afterward and what I enjoyed about it. You will be pleasantly surprised to hear what your partner has to say. Open up those roadways for communication, babe!
Tip 2: Addressing your body
Having sex is a physical excursion. A huge component of aftercare is checking up on your and your partner(s) physical state. Are you still aroused? Are you satisfied? Where is your body right now? These are all great questions to ask yourself after sex. I also recommend taking some time to clean up, like taking a shower or changing clothes. This can signal to us that “sexy time” is over and can help encourage aftercare seamlessly. This is also the perfect time to take a couples of shower, use the bathroom (to avoid those nasty UTIs!), or even hydrate by drinking water or eating a snack or meal if you or your partner are hungry!
Tip 3: Experiment
Aftercare provides us with the time and space to reflect on our recent sexual experiences with our chosen partner(s). This can be really helpful if you are implementing something new into the bedroom or trying out a new dynamic. I like aftercare because it always gives us permission to check in with our partner(s), allowing us to experiment and try something new. Don’t be afraid to discuss your desires, turn-ons, and even turn-offs with your partner(s). Aftercare is the perfect time to confirm and affirm kinks, fetishes, desires, and sexual fantasies you would like to implement or even work towards.
Overall, aftercare is an important factor to sex that usually gets the short end of the stick. It’s a great way to share with your partner and indulge in the beauty that sexual intimacy can bring to you.